---

Headlines Today: Merry December 25th!
-Pokemaniac John

Today is the 25th of December, the day when Christians celebrate Christmas, Woists celebrate their Winter Festival, and atheists celebrate commercialism. As our way of helping you celebrate, we're holding a Christmas Competition to win a mystery Christmas-themed prize. All you have to do is send your answer to this question to the email or postal address below: "what do you think is the best Christmas tradition, and why?" We'll send you confirmation that we got your answer as soon as it arrives, and let you know later on whether or not you managed to win.

Send entries to either:

christmascompetition@wl.pjpublishing.com

OR

Christmas Competition,
Weekly Lamp Post HQ,
1, Media Square,
Epiphany,
1MS EM1

We look forward to reading your entries.

---

Draw in Election; Parliament Grinds to Halt
-Pokemaniac John

The election of the past few days has seen a draw between The Coalition, led by Lord Wallace Buttersworth, and the Boo Party, led by Inevitable. As detailed in the Electoral Unreform Act, Prime Minister plqx will remain in office until parliament nominates a successor via a motion of confidence. However, given how divided the parties are, this could be easier said than done. The commons has now been opened, so a motion of confidence may be created at any time.

---

Bones Found in Chimney
-Pokemaniac John

Earlier today, some bones were discovered in the chimney breast of a building outside Epiphany. The building, which has been untouched for some 90 years, is currently being explored and evaluated by a team of archaeologists.

The bones reportedly comprise a complete human skeleton, and found with them were two notable items: the remains of a luxury red coat, lined with fur, and a note entitled "Christmas 1914". Allegations that the archaeological team murdered Santa Claus are currently being investigated.

[OOC: This story is inspired by the song "Bones in the Chimney", written by Pete Ryder, and old friend of my family. There is a performance of the song available on YouTube.]

---

And so that concludes our Christmas issue. Merry 25th of December and a happy new year!

The Weekly Lamp Post™ - Illuminating The Week.®


Weekly Lamp Post™ Of Ostentia, the Weekly Lamp Post™ logo ω☼ℓ®, Mega Muscles® and the Weekly Lamp Post™ slogan "The Weekly Lamp Post™ - Illuminating The Week."® are all © Pokemaniac John Publishing ltd.