This is the parliamentary question time for questions to the Education Minister.

Members of the Commons may question the Education Minister on any issue relating to his department. Each member is limited to one question per week.

This House recognises miniyoda008 as the Education Minister, and requests that he answers all questions posed to him.

This House recognises DynamoJax as the Leader of the Opposition, and as such grants him the right to ask six questions per week.

The government may only be asked to answer one question at a time - no new questions may be submitted until the previous one has been answered. If the government does not answer, action may be taken by the speaker of the commons.

I therefore open this session with the following question:

Will the Education Minister please tell us of his department's aims for this session of parliament?

*Coughs politely from the backbenches, muttering something about ratings which should be falling*...

*throws a shoe at the ratings board*

*mutters something about the fact that the current governing party doesn't even have a rating TO be falling*

*mutters something about a ridiculously long party name*

*Mutters something about aahm a shufflin' massah*

*mutters something about trying to nap*

*mutters something about a VONC*

*mutters something about still not having an answer*

*mutters something about really can't be bothered, I'll resign if you want, but the elections only in a few days*

*also mutter something about how people don't seem to care about health and the economy, which I also haven't bothered answering questions on*