---

Headlines Today: The Proof is in the Pudding; Decapitation Mystery Solved!
-Pokemaniac John

In an earlier issue, we reported on the mysterious decapitation and dismemberment of a woman in Eronam. Eronamian police now say the mystery has been solved, and have released details of the case to the public. The woman did not, as previous theories had suggested, fall foul of the traps in an ancient tomb, but instead was killed by a pudding. An autopsy revealed she had eaten a canned sponge pudding containing the rare and deadly compound explodium, which, as the name implies, causes explosion when eaten. Triggered by the enzymes in the woman's saliva, a large portion of the pudding exploded in her oesophagus, causing her head to fly from her body, landing in the bowl in front of her. The rest of the rest of the portion exploded at various other points in her digestive system, causing the body to be neatly dismembered. Police are now investigating to find out whether more may be at risk from the same canned puddings.

---

In Other News: Suspect New Newspaper Appears
-Pokemaniac John

A short while ago, a new newspaper named The Informer was released throughout Ostentia. It seems aimed at revealing secrets, especially of a governmental variety, through tips from anonymous sources. However, the truthfulness of the first issue has been called into question by several government members, with one HRH King Zog II saying it contained "rumour spreading worthy of the Daily Slander". This is quite remarkable, as the Daily Slander (being printed once again, now in a weekly format) has long been considered a leader in rumour spreading and slander.

---

Worrying Reports from Exilia; Exilians Now Worried
-Pokemaniac John

As reported in the Exilian Echo, encrypted radio transmissions have recently been aired across several major Exilian stations. So far, no one has been successful in deciphering these and theories are spreading that it could be part of an invasion plan by either militaristic dictatorship Assym or cult-like moustache-obsessed Boo Party. Many eyes across the world are turned to Exilia in the hopes that the nature of these transmissions will be discovered before it's too late.

---

The Weekly Lamp Post™ - Illuminating The Week.®


Weekly Lamp Post™ Of Ostentia, the Weekly Lamp Post™ logo ω☼ℓ®, and the Weekly Lamp Post™ slogan "The Weekly Lamp Post™ - Illuminating The Week."® are all © Pokemaniac John Publishing ltd.